We are a Respectful Community (6/6/2025)
As you know, the Suzuki philosophy is that "we create talent." Talent is not inborn, but is nurtured through a positive learning environment and the individual. While we acknowledge that Suzuki education is developing the individual to learn and establish high standards, the most important lesson from Dr. Suzuki was building human character and respect for others. I have been thinking about this very important goal as I self-evaluate the work I did this year, and the work of our teachers and staff. Teachers must evaluate their students, managers must evaluate their employees. How is it best to do this?
"Character first, ability second." --Dr. Shinichi Suzuki
Year end evaluation is often thought of reflecting upon the individual and their performance and results. As I was reading Originals: How Non-conformists Move the World by Adam Grant, I was seeking some insight on those individuals who have excelled and the conditions that actually nurture people.(1) What can we do as parents to encourage others, grow our abilities, and develop as good human beings as Dr. Suzuki set out to do with his students?
In his book, Grant gives two very interesting pieces of advice. First, he suggests the key to enabling a change of behavior was to use comments about values and appeals that relate to the character of the person. While it is commonly thought to praise the action, it is more effective to praise the character of the person. For example, instead of saying "thank you for picking up that piece of paper off the floor" or " thank you for helping me make dinner," it is more effective to say "You are such a thoughtful person, picking up that piece of paper", or "You are such a good helper making dinner with me." The research has proven that the person being praised is affected by the comment on their character, and thus are more apt to repeat the behavior even if it is in another context." Likewise, for adults, Grant suggests that commenting on negative behavior such as "please don't cheat (action)" rephrased as "please do not be a cheater (character trait)," is far more effective in making that behavior go away.
As a second observation on how people might be better disciplined and follow rules, Grant followed research that has proven that following or breaking rules is more effective when accompanied by rational explanations and consequences to others. The example he gives is from an experiment conducted in a hospital. There were two signs, one that said "hand hygiene prevents you from catching diseases" and the other said "hand hygiene prevents patients from catching diseases." The second sign was far more effective since the impact on others was given as the reasoning for proper hand hygiene. Another example was an experiment with children who were asked to share their marbles with their peers. Those who were praised for their actions, "it was good that you gave some of your marbles to those other children...that was a nice and helpful thing to do," vs. those who were praised for their character "I guess you're the kind of person who likes to help others whenever you can...you are a very nice and helpful person" had very different results. Those who received character praise were more likely to share craft materials with others at a community service project two weeks later at a ratio of 45% to 10%. When we praise character, the individual develops a more unified internal message of their moral character which then develops into more positive behaviors.
The language we use in praise and evaluation is somewhat modified depending upon the age of the person you are addressing. For young children, we might mention that pushing might result in another child falling down and hurting themself. As children are a little older, not sharing a toy might include mention of making the other child feel sad in the same way that if the same act were reciprocated, it would also make the child feel bad. "HIghlighting consequences for others directs attention to the distress of the person who may be harmed by an individual's behavior, fueling empathy for her." (Grant, p. 165) In older teens we might cite basic principles like "not only would your friend feel let down by your canceling on them, but in our family we honor our commitments so that people know how trustworthy we are when we make promises."
As I move forward with both self-evaluation and year-end reflection, I realize how much there is still to go in my own self-improvement and communications with others. As we like to say in the Suzuki community, we are life-long learners. We are a caring community, and we want our children and all of us to be the respectful community that we are.
As we arrive at the end of the School Year and as teachers, we look back at the year and we are evaluating our students. We recently had Musicianship Sharing night (on May 29th) where students were able to display some of their work and compositions. This weekend we have PorchFest with Guitar, Violin and Cello Book Graduations, the Advanced Violin group, the In Harmony Tour Group and our Adult Ensemble all performing between 1:30-5 pm and the icing on the cake will be "White Collar Crime" a fun rock band of Newton residents who will play a lot of the classic rock that we all enjoy! Sunday we will have our Advanced Recitals at 4pm and 5:45pm featuring so many talented advanced Suzuki students. Please join us and come together as a music-loving community who support one another.
We do so much, and our successful events are so numerous. I know we cannot attend everything and must make choices. I admire the resilience and hard-working individuals that you all are. We do what we can manage, and I recognize the wonderful community that we make together.
1. Grant, Adam Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World. New York: Penguin Books, 2016.